Empty's Theme Park

Today was a day.

I don’t understand people who fly off the handle at the drop of a hat. People with no perspective. You misplaced your keys? So the fuck what? They’ll turn up. You’re running a little late? News Flash: The world isn’t going to end. Chill out, yo.

Dear Administrative Assistant: I asked you to order my Blackberry in October. OCTOBER! Why then, today, February 15th of the following year, are you asking me further clarification questions BEFORE ordering my phone? I am not feeling assisted!

Hello heartburn, my old friend.

What is the deal with parents today? Why are they having their kids give everyone in their class a gift for Valentine’s Day? Does a card not suffice? This constant cycle of one-up-manship with birthday parties and the like really annoys me.

And don’t get me started on the school system. Stop coddling my child! I don’t care if there’s snow on the ground. My child shouldn’t be made to crawl on all fours to the skating rink in the schoolyard because you’re afraid they’re going to fall! Seriously. I believe in safety, but people who are risk-averse never get anywhere in life.

Oh, and my daughter got a DVD from my mother-in-law for Valentine’s Day. It’s an animated film called The Lion of Judah. Something something the main character is a lamb who is going to be killed as a sacrifice and also, Jesus is crucified. Next time you’re at Wal*Mart, maybe read what you’re buying instead of just looking at the cute barnyard animals on the front of the case. Furthermore, the story, dialogue, voice acting and animation are THE WORST.

I hate posting this late at night. Hardly anyone will read it.

Or care.